Father’s Day

On a day like today we are inundated with happy, heart-felt stories about fathers and their kids. But it’s important to remember too, that not all relationships have been full of sunshine and light. It’s a tough day for some fathers and sons out there, a relationship that is vital but sometimes rife with complications.  Here are a few news stories out this week and today for Father’s Day:

We Need Fathers to Step Up, by Barack Obama

Not all hearts and flowers: Father’s Day brings back distant, yet painful memories of parental abandonment for at least one journalist

Fathers Matter Now More than Ever

Nobody’s Father

TorchWood Editions, ed. by Lynne Van Luven and Bruce Gillespie

Nobody’s Father: Life without Kids is a new anthology of stories by men who, for one reason or another, don’t have children. It’s a sequel of sorts to a 2006 collection of stories by childless women (sometimes called non-mothers).

The Toronto Star Living section is publishing a story from the anthology every day this week.

Nobody’s Mother was an interesting and I think, necessary piece of literature dealing with a taboo topic in our married-with-kids culture. As a middle-aged woman with no children of my own, I found some stories relatable and some others a little disappointing in their stereotypical-ness. I get annoyed by the protesting-too-much quality of accounts of those of us outside the mainstream. I guess because we didn’t mean to be here and are stll trying to work out for ourselves how just living our own course of life turned out to be alternative, and not all that supported by a culture that, despite its diversity, still only fully acknowleges one way to live. 

I rarely get asked why I don’t have children, but that doesn’t stop people from assuming things like, I didn’t want kids, or worse, I don’t like kids, or I can’t have them. Even if I couldn’t, it would be nice to be able to say this outloud once in awhile.  

Somehow I guess it’s more acceptable for men to be without children. Our culture doesn’t fully accept yet that men can father. And so many fathers are separated from their kids, some by choice, others by circumstance, or restricted visitation.

Since we rarely ask men how they feel or what they think, it’s very nice to see that two editors have asked and a publishing company thought it was a good question.

I recommend picking this book up. Today’s excerpted story is by Bruce Gillespie, the anthology’s co-editor. Not surprisingly, it’s on the topic of father-absence.

Save the Males

This is the title of a new book by syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker. I’m reading it now, two chapters in, so will withhold my impressions until I’m finished. All I can say is I understand the impulse to write on this topic and the importance of the book in a culture where it’s ok, acceptable and even preferable to bash the other half.

I don’t know Ms. Parker as a columnist but it seems she is touted as right wing. As a woman who often writes about the some-how controversial topic of why men matter I’m not surprised about this moniker. Sadly.

Stay tuned.

Father’s Day

Surfing around the news today, I found some interesting Father’s Day articles. I think it’s important to remember that there isn’t only one way to live in our culture and many people have lives that don’t fit into what was once considered traditional. Times are changing and most of these articles reflect how that affects men:

THIS COUNTRY: FATHER’S DAY: THE TRUE MEANING, Roy MacGregor, Globe & Mail

For some, Father’s Day is a sad and bitter occasion, Ottawa Citizen

Father’s Day: by the numbers, Toronto Star

Tackling the role of Mr. Mom, Toronto Star

Father’s Day celebrated when dad’s not here, San Francisco Chronicle

Dad’s changing role recognized on Father’s Day, Reuters

Father’s Day Special: What Legacy Are You Passing On To Your Children?, Huffington Post

Obama delivers Father’s day sermon, Washington Post

Seven: a new men’s magazine

It can only be good news when a men’s magazine is being launched. I am still mourning the loss of Toro, though it now has a new online version, which I have high hopes for.

Seven is apparently launching this weekend in time for Father’s Day. Though it has a Christian slant, I’m willing to give it a try. Not that I’m anti Christian, just that I prefer inclusiveness. But the first issue is on the theme of fathers and sons.

Here’s the info: Christian men’s magazine set for Father’s Day launch